something once l o s t
--will never r e t u r n

Remember Me

The resemblance between them was overwhelming. To think that the stars of this world would play out his life this way. She came to him, stranded, ironically covered in the cold rain instead of ashes. He could never forget her face, her scent, her aura. Yet there she was, in a gown from her own closet, in her own home, next to her own child - completely unaware of the world around her. Tea was silent, as Ciel was lost in thought. He couldn’t recall how many sips of tea he’d taken until he realized that there was nothing in the cup at all. He put the cup and saucer down on the table, his one eye fixed on her features as his mind raced.

“Hello? I-Is anyone here?” she called, with her arms wrapped around herself for warmth and to hide her soaking clothes. It was just about time for the bluenette to retire, but the call caught his attention. Sebastian offered to get the door alone - but something about the voice… he couldn’t let the butler do that alone. It was so familiar, so strange.

He walked down the long flight of stairs in silence, Sebastian quietly following behind him. The pit-patter of the rain danced upon the roof, it’s noise just barely covering the thumping of their heels against the wood floor. Just as Ciel reached the door, another knock - a loud one - sounded just in front of him. It was like the woman out there was just so desperate for anyone to come to her aid. The boy gripped the handle and slowly pulled the door open. “Oh thank heavens..” was murmured from the other side. 

At that moment, everything Ciel knew had become a lie.

“Are you alright?” that same voice pulled him out of his thoughts again, and he bit the sides of his cheeks as a way to distract himself temporarily. He found himself staring at the flowery pattern of the teacup, the shine from the porcelain glinting as he moved it around in his hands. “Yes,” he responded, “Madame, I’m fine.”

He heard her breath in, as if she was going to say something else - which was the last thing he wanted at the moment. Small-talk with his mother was not something he needed, especially with the new-found circumstances. But thankfully Sebastian interrupted just at the right moment, offering more tea and cakes. He picked up the fork and knife to cut the cake on his plate, the woman in front of him doing the same. Though the knife hitting the plate was a small, barely audible sound - it was much louder to his ears, enough to make him cringe.

Ciel thought he was in a daze - that the image in front of him wasn’t actually there, and he may have finally lost his mind. But no - Sebastian was the first to speak to this woman, who was standing there covering herself in nothing but a white under-dress. “May I help you inside?” the butler asked, stepping outside into the rain, hovering himself over the woman just enough to shield her from the storm. The butler’s eyes shut for the maiden’s sake, since she wouldn’t want a man to see her in such a way. But Ciel, however, couldn’t look away. The sight in front of him made his body shake, his eyes so wide they were nearly circular. The woman in front of him was dead. Her pictures were around the manor of course, because he couldn’t pretend she never existed. Though her death was the only reason he still lived in this mansion - to get revenge on whoever did this to his family. Now she was alive. She was alive and her body was intact - a miracle of sorts, though Ciel couldn’t register the good in this. Only bad. The woman was shivering, and her voice got quieter. He had to listen hard to hear what the woman was saying. 

“I hope I haven’t intruded… This was the first place I could see from where I awakened.” Ciel was completely dumbfounded. Intruded? This was her home! Before she was burned alive, that is.

“My lord?” Yet again, he was pulled from his thoughts. But from a different voice - one that didn’t make him shiver. He looked up at his butler, confused. Though he soon realized that the piece of cake originally on his fork had landed on his lap, the icing and and crumbs scattered on him. “Oh. How foolish,” he muttered, though the effort was wasted. Sebastian knew well what he was thinking about that was causing the young Phantomhive to be so off. The woman, who called herself Rachel with no other title - not even a last name - stared at the boy befuddled by his actions. Sebastian let out a sigh and a charming smile as he turned his head to the maiden. “Excuse us, the Young Master must change out of these clothes.” The woman nodded, then looked back at Ciel. He caught her gaze, but only for an instant before he forced himself to look away. “Take the lady to the guest room,” the boy ordered, raising his brows slightly at the butler, to signal a deeper meaning to that order. The butler kept his smile and bowed his head, uttering the words, “Yes, my Lord.”

“Do you remember anything?” Ciel asked, forcing himself to act as casual as possible. If it was anyone else, he might have turned them away and forgot that they were standing there in the rain at his doorstep. But she didn’t need to know that. 

The woman replied by shaking her head, and added, “I barely remember my name.”

Her statement stung in a place he tried to forget he had - his heart. To think that she stumbled upon his door - out of every other manor or house on the outskirts of London - but she didn’t even remember her full name. 

Ciel walked to his room alone, fumbling around with his clothes. It wasn’t long before Sebastian entered, to help him redress himself without saying a word about their ‘guest’. Though as Ciel walked out of his room and into the hall, he immediately started walking toward the room he claimed to be the guest room. The room was really where he stored most of the photographs of his family - the ones that survived the fire. There wasn’t too many, but just enough to make a point. She had to come across them - he never knew his mother to be oblivious. 

He rounded a corner and the room was lit up but there was no movement. The door was wide open, so he couldn’t help but look inside. He wasn’t trying to hide himself, standing in plain sight, but even so she didn’t seem to notice him. She was holding a picture frame, her mouth agape. Tears dotted her eyes but did not fall. Sad, knowing eyes looked over at Ciel, their gazes meeting once more. But this time she wasn’t confused, she was sad. Regretful.

“Ciel…”