Dear young master, I am bound to you. You have a nice soul. You make me want to eat it. You should let me. Someday I will get your soul. You + me = master and servant. If I saw you now I’d lick your face. I want to do everything for you. I would build a manor just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be CALL ME MAYBE. We could drink tea under the stars. Love, Sebastian Michaelis (P.S. I was turned into a woman for 30 hours.) … “Really.”

“Are you quite finished? Get me cake.”